...simply said...

I realise that everytime I'm bored, I reminise. I go into my own little world and think about things of the past, some things I shouldn't really be thinking about. I drag out memories in the form of diary writings, letters, emails and marvel at how much I don't remember. How quickly some memories fade away and how sticky other memories are. In the end, I realise you don't remember events or what someone said, but how you felt, and the emotions evoked.

Hmmmmmmmmm... I'm not going to talk about it anymore, I don't even know what to say. It's 1.13 am, I've just spent the night watching a movie in bed and doing a bit of cross stitching. Relatively full day tomorrow, considering it's holidays, but I guess I'm just gonna have to tire myself out to go to sleep.

I got a pharmacy job, at long last, and the introductory session is tomorrow. I've been trying to land a (real, paid) job in a pharmacy since the first year, and it's finally happened! I actually got hired on the spot cause apparently I was the 'most appropriate person for the job'. Why didn't anyone realise the last couple of years I've been driven to tears from frustration at being rejected time and again.

Sigh.

I'm really really happy about it. Experience in invaluable, definetely worth more than good grades, I've learnt. And really, after your first job, no one cares about how many hd's you got in uni. Or maybe they do and i'm just foolish and ignorant.

Been missing a lot of people as well. I tell you, I get all emotional when I'm bored. Talking to Svenja brought up memories of those good ol days. Oh how I miss that girl so much. One year and 4 months since she's been gone, she says. I feels like so much longer, I feel that so much has changed in that time, and maybe I have changed so much too.

I wonder. Sometimes I think i've changed a lot, and sometimes i feel that I'm the same person, really, just expressing myself in different ways, ways I have never been allowed to express myself. I was speaking to my cousin about this, how people like to box things up, set 'rules' everyone should follow. You should dress this way. You should get married after such and such an age. You shouldn't say that. You have to do this. Are we slaves to society? Should we really care what people think? After all, one size doesn't fit all, and God gave us a mind to think and a will to decide for ourselves.

Ok, enough. Bedtime now.

Had a nice long chat with Sandy today. It's been a long, long time since we really had a heart to heart, and we really should do it more. Talked about last night and her boyfriend and love life and also about life..... Made me think about a few things (when my mind should be on Pharmacology!!)

What is love, really. Age old question, I know, but everyone has a different idea on what love is. Partnership? Fireworks? Emotions? Feelings? Convienience? Complete giving of oneself unselfishly? Is it feeling special.... or making someone feel special? Is it just a feeling.... or should the mind rule more than the heart? Is it to avoid loneliness? Finding someone to 'complete' oneself? Not just being able to live with someone, but not being able to live without them.

And who's to answer this question really. But I think the last is the most important. It makes me think of my relationship as well. 2 months spent away from Mark was a test, and in a way, strengthened us. No doubt I had an amazing time with my friends and family, but being away from the person you love is independant of that. I missed his company, his touch, his voice. Him.


Our first picture together

We've been together for more than 2 years now, and it seems like it's only getting better. Things definitely started off a little shaky, but looking back, it's that period that makes me realise now how serious he was. And since then, our friendship and relationship has only gotten stronger and he's the one I lean on and know I can rely on. I just realised that last night, he was out with his ex-girlfriend and today he's out with a french girl but 1. it's not as it sounds and 2. (Because of that,) it doesn't bother me. After all, it was me who couldn't make it to dinner last night and didn't want to go to the footie this evening.

But I think the nicest thing about us is that we spend so much time together, and we wouldn't have it any other way. I could spend day and night and night and day with him, and I wouldn't tire of his company. How many people can I say that of?


Ok, enough rambling. Now on to last night. Worked till midnight, then went out drinking and dancing with my housemates and Sandy's friends. Ok, not very much drinking happened although we happened to do our own pubcrawl from one lousy place to another. Didn't really want to have more than a couple of drinks cause i have a lot of study to do. Anyway, after the casino bar and whisking past the London Tavern, we ended up at PJ O'Brien's. In my opinion, best place to be in if you wanna be picked up. Absolutely crawling with sleazy guys who surround the dance floor, just looking/ staring and will not pass the oppurtunity to either throw some dirty comment at you or rub their paws over some part of your body. I kept my coat on most of the night.


The pass I need to get to work. Department of Defence!


Housemates! (clockwise from top) Beata, Carlos, Sandy, Quin







So at some point I hit the dance floor with the others and was jumping around to 'I would walk 500 miles' when I realised... my zipped handbag (hanging off my shoulder) was open and unzipped! MY BRAND NEW KEPT-IN-PERFECT-CONDITION PHONE WAS GONE!' I was kinda surprise 'they' didn't grab my purse as well. Panickly looked around the dance floor, and checked the seat where we were, but i somehow knew it was gone. Got home as soon as possible, no way I was staying, and called the company up to cancel my number. Thank God for India call centres who provide service even at 2.30am. Then proceeded to sob on the phone to Mark (finally the dams broke). Just needed that little bit of relief. Sort of flopped around for a bit, I was very exhausted by then... stressful day + work + little bit of vodka + dancing + mega stress and shock. Felt so helpless and annoyed that I started bombarding my phone with messages of 'Give me back my phone you ******' and 'You think you've gained something but in the long term you will lose out.. you know it' and 'Just give me back my sim card............. PLEASE!!!'

Gave up after awhile, then went to bed. About 2 seconds later, the phone rang. Someone had found my phone at the other end of the city! I flew there (thank God for vehicles) and actually got my phone back in perfect condition! How amazing is that!!! The person must have tried to make some calls, but couldn't, then gave up and chucked it.

So, all's well that ends well. I love how Australia is generally an good, civilised country with (mainly) honest folk.



While I used to whinge about Motorola's user-unfriendliness..........

I love my phone more then ever now.